


Conditions

by katlynwtf



Category: Naruto, Naruto Shippuden
Genre: Angst, M/M, Not Ending Compliant, One-Sided NaruHina, Smut, The Council are Dicks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-16
Updated: 2017-07-16
Packaged: 2018-12-02 17:39:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11514222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katlynwtf/pseuds/katlynwtf
Summary: When Sasuke carefully pulls him down and catches him in a surprisingly tender kiss that burns in his very soul, Naruto is certain.Becoming Hokage means absolutely nothing to him if Sasuke is not at his side.





	Conditions

**Author's Note:**

> Hi hello this piece of human garbage decided that instead of updating her other fics that have been sitting forever, that she should start a new fic _get it together Katie_
> 
> Also how weird is it writing Naruto being serious? Holy moly.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you like it! :)

Naruto is being offered everything he has ever wanted, and he doesn’t know what to say.

Kakashi sees Naruto's hesitation, understands that it's a lot to take in, a lot to ask of someone who's been asked the world already and suffered so deeply for it. He understands how difficult this is for Naruto, who has spent his entire life chasing after Sasuke, begging him time and time again to come home only to be brutally rebuffed, extending a hand of friendship only to be answered with violence. It took loss of limb and very nearly loss of life to finally bring Sasuke back to the village at the end of the war, and when Sasuke had made the decision to leave again, Naruto had let him go willingly.

He doesn't think that Naruto will be quite so willing this time, though perhaps that's what the Council is counting on. Years of fear and mistrust are hard to shake, after all, and it's hardly a secret that they don’t want Naruto to become Hokage. Kakashi suspects that they expect Naruto to choose Sasuke, the way he has always chosen Sasuke, and then they would be free to appoint someone more easily manipulated to the post. He wants to tell Naruto of these thoughts, but he cares too much for the young man to force his choice.

Not that he has any doubts about what he will choose.

It’s unsettling, how quiet Naruto is, and this is far from the reaction Kakashi expects - he expected the Jinchuuriki to lose his temper, to yell about how he didn't chase Sasuke across the world, risk his life to bring him home, to be told he was no longer allowed to see or speak with him. Instead, he keeps his voice carefully controlled, though that burning anger Kakashi had expected is still visible in his eyes, in the tight draw of his mouth and the way his fists clench at his sides. Naruto has grown, Kakashi thinks as he observes the younger man fighting to keep it together. The war changed Naruto, had forced him to grow up quickly, but his temper - especially in regards to Sasuke - has always been a constant, a base part of his personality, and it's startling to see the way his body relaxes as he calms himself instead of giving in to his anger. No, Kakashi certainly did not expect this.

"I suggest you take a few days to think about it," Kakashi says quietly after a long moment of tense silence, leaning forward to rest his elbows on the desk. "Sasuke is in the village for the night, perhaps talking to him about it could help."

"Thank you, Kakashi-sensei." Naruto turns to go, but pauses at the door and turns to face Kakashi again, stiffly bowing his head in an unexpected and surprising show of respect. Naruto has never been one to make such gestures, even after Kakashi became Hokage. It lasts only a second, though, and then the door is shutting behind him.

Naruto doesn't know what to do. This dream he's had his whole life, the first thing he remembers ever wanting, is right in front of him, being held out on a silver platter for him to take by a man he deeply respects. A man who has also told him that the Council extends this offer upon the contingency that he completely remove Sasuke from his life.

Sasuke, who he chased across the world. Sasuke, who he had lost his arm for. Sasuke, who he…

_Sasuke_.

Naruto can see him now, waiting in the shadows of the stairwell, leaning casually against the wall with a scowl on his pale face. The Uchiha looks different than the last time Naruto saw him - his hair is longer, worn over his left eye to hide the Rinnegan, and he looks tired, more tired than Naruto has ever seen him. But he also looks… good. Really, really good.

It tears at his heart and stirs things inside of him that he thought he’d long buried, but looking at Sasuke looking at him, watching that scowl slowly lift into a smirk, it all comes rushing back, flooding his body with aching heat and desperate longing. He wonders if this is what Hinata feels when she looks at him, wonders if she hurts the way he’s hurting right now as his heart calls for Sasuke. He feels terrible, knowing exactly what Hinata wants from him, and knowing that he will never be able to give it to her. He feels even worse that she’ll never know why; because he knows now. He _finally_ knows, and it hurts.

Naruto supposes that a part of him has always known exactly why he has never been able to accept Hinata’s feelings for him. She’s a beautiful girl, kind, brave, and strong, but just as he knows that she will make someone incredibly happy one day, he also knows that it will not be him. He cannot accept her feelings for him because he is in love with another, has been for years, and now that he’s finally learned that simple yet entirely devastating fact, he might have to say goodbye.

_Goodbye_. He has never liked that word. He has never liked saying it or having it said to him, and the fact that he must now decide if he’ll say it to the person who means more to him than anyone or anything else is killing him.

"Can we…" His voice is thick, and suddenly his mouth is dry and he has to swallow past a lump in his throat. "Can we talk? Somewhere private." Sasuke doesn’t say a word, merely turning and walking down the stairs. Naruto can only stare at his retreating back for a moment, frozen in place by the sudden understanding that this might be the last time he ever sees his friend. Before this moment, it had only been an idea, a thought planted in his mind for him to consider… but now it’s real. There’s a choice to be made - give up his lifelong dream, or give up the man he had once promised to die for. The man he would still die for.

It should be an easy choice - but it’s not.

What is an easy choice is answering the questioning gaze that Sasuke gives him when he realizes Naruto is no longer following, taking the steps two at a time until he falls in beside the dark haired Uchiha. What is an easy choice is walking alongside him through the dark streets of Konoha until they reach Naruto’s apartment. What is an easy choice is turning to Sasuke as soon as the door shuts behind them and wordlessly asking a question that has been burning in his soul since they were children.

Naruto sees the answer in Sasuke’s eyes the instant before they close, that flash of exasperated affection that he has only just now learned to recognize. He feels the answer as Sasuke bridges the gap between them at last, pressing close and kissing him - softly at first, then more urgently as Naruto’s hand finds the small of his back, holding him flush to his chest. He’s gasping for breath when Sasuke finally breaks the kiss, drawing back enough to meet Naruto’s eyes, black searching blue for a fraction of a second before he moves back in, hesitating when Naruto stills, glancing down to find the blond’s hand hovering in the space where Sasuke’s arm should be.

“I’ve adapted,” he finally speaks, drawing Naruto’s attention away from his missing limb. His voice is low, barely a murmur, but heavy with something that neither of them know how to name as his remaining hand clenches around the back of Naruto’s shirt. “Unlike you, I don’t need two arms to beat you.”

“Oh, shut up,” Naruto growls, but he can’t fight back his chuckle as he pulls Sasuke back in, catching him in a kiss that feels like fire against his mouth even as it sends chills down his spine.

It's almost cruel, he thinks as he turns and backs Sasuke across the room. The knowledge of the conversation to come weighs devastatingly heavy on his mind as he tugs at Sasuke's shirt, but the other man is blissfully unaware; in this moment, his only concern is pushing Naruto's pants to the floor and tugging him backward onto the bed. Sasuke doesn't know that Naruto is struggling with a decision that feels like it's crushing him, and not even the warmth of Sasuke's arm around him or the hot press of his mouth against Naruto's neck is enough to mend his breaking heart.

Naruto knows it's only a matter of time before this comes to an end. Their separation is as inevitable as their collision, as sure as the pull of the moon on the tide, and it aches to know that even as he pushes Sasuke down onto the bed, reaching for the bottle he keeps in his bedside table, even as he opens it and leans in to kiss him again, that this may be the only time he gets to be with Sasuke like this.

The problem is, he doesn't want it to be the only time. As Naruto squeezes the bottle against Sasuke's long fingers, he begins to think that maybe, just maybe, he wouldn't mind giving up everything for the Uchiha.

The first slick touch leaves him breathless, and Naruto fights back a moan as Sasuke slips in the first finger. The pressure feels strange, unnatural, and he has to fight his body's natural reaction, force himself not to tense at the stretch when he adds a second finger. Sasuke is patient, taking his time, and the discomfort fades into pleasure when he finally adds a third.

By the time Sasuke withdraws his fingers, Naruto is whimpering, grinding against him in a desperate search for relief. He's almost begging as Sasuke slicks his cock and finally, _finally_ , Naruto is sinking down onto him with a low moan that vibrates deep in his chest. They both still as Sasuke bottoms out, and when Sasuke carefully pulls him down and catches him in a surprisingly tender kiss that burns in his very soul, Naruto is certain.

Becoming Hokage means absolutely nothing to him if Sasuke is not at his side.

He opens his eyes as he draws back, finding the deep crimson of the Sharingan fixed on him. He vaguely remembers hearing once that those with the Sharingan have a photographic memory, and he can't help but wish that he had the ability as well. He wants to remember this, the way Sasuke looks in this moment. He's heartbreakingly beautiful, a sharp contrast of light and dark beneath him and oh, gods, he's looking at Naruto like he's the only thing that exists in this world and it is unbearably devastating and _this is not fair_.

He wants to say something, wants to stop this and tell Sasuke the truth because as unfair as the choice he faces is, it's better than what he's doing to Sasuke by keeping this from him... but he knows the instant he does, whatever this is will end, and some selfish part of him is unwilling to let that happen. He needs this, needs the way Sasuke’s hand feels on his hip, warm and heavy but surprisingly soft, needs the way Sasuke is kissing him and the way Sasuke is looking at him... He just needs Sasuke, and it hurts.

If Sasuke senses that something's wrong, he doesn't say anything, but the brief flicker of concern in his eyes gives him away; the emotion isn't one Naruto is used to seeing, but the fact that it is there fills him with warmth. It's almost enough to make him believe that maybe this might all be okay. Almost.

When they finally separate to lay, sated and content at each other's sides, Naruto still cannot bring himself to say a single word. He knows he needs to, knows that this conversation is one that needs to happen, but he can't bring himself to ruin the moment. Not yet. After everything - from what he went through as an outcast in the village to the war, to Sasuke leaving over and over again no matter how hard Naruto fought to bring him home, to being forced to make this impossible choice, Naruto thinks he deserves this moment of peace, however small it may be.

"What's the matter with you?" Sasuke is the first to break the silence, voice soft and brimming with barely concealed concern as he rolls onto his side to face Naruto. In the vulnerability of the moment, he isn’t trying as hard as he usually does to keep his true emotions in check, though he does keep his expression carefully guarded, assessing the blond's reaction to his question warily. "You're never this quiet."

"I..." Naruto doesn't know what to say, but he knows that he can't put this conversation off forever. Taking a deep breath, he closes his eyes, tries to think of something to say to delay this, but the only thing that comes to mind is something he knows he can't say. "I was offered the job. I can be Hokage like I always wanted, all I have to do is say yes."

"Then what are you waiting for, dobe?" Sasuke asks, and when Naruto cracks one eye open to peek at him, he finds that the dark haired man isn’t bothering to hide the pride in his expression, nor the small, rare smile that accompanies it. It’s a strange look on Sasuke, but Naruto decides that he likes it. He wishes the man would smile more, especially with him. "It's what you want, isn't it?"

"Yeah, but..." There's no avoiding it now, he supposes, sighing and opening both of his eyes. He’s not sure exactly how to tell the Uchiha that he won’t become Hokage without him, nor is he sure how he’ll react. Before tonight, Sasuke has never given any indication that he leans in Naruto’s direction, and he has no reason to assume that this is anything more than a simple relief of the tension that has always hung heavy in the air between them. As much as he wants more, that depends entirely on Sasuke. "There are conditions, and I don't know if I can accept them." He chances a glance at the other man, finds the Uchiha's next question evident in his dark eyes. Heaving another sigh, Naruto rolls onto his side, hesitantly reaching for his friend, unsure if he should touch. "The Council won't approve me unless I cut all ties with you."

"Oh." Sasuke's eyes widen slightly, but otherwise he doesn't react. Naruto wishes that surprised him, but he knows Sasuke too well to think that he would show Naruto how much he cares. "That's simple, then."

"It is," Naruto says after a moment, steeling himself. This he is certain Sasuke will react to, and he’s not sure he’s ready for that. He says it anyway. "I'm telling them no." Sasuke lets out an indignant huff, but before he can say a word, Naruto leans in and silences him with a hard, fast kiss, touching his forehead to Sasuke’s when he pulls away. "I always dreamed that when I became Hokage, you'd be by my side. I need you with me, Sasuke, and if you can't be, I don't want it."

“You can’t give up your dream for me.” Sasuke pushes him back, dark eyes narrowed as they meet Naruto’s blue. Yeah, that’s about what he expected. “I won’t allow that.”

“It’s my choice to make, you jerk,” Naruto snaps, his own eyes narrowing in response. “And you should know by now that I’ll always choose you.”

“All the more reason that you _should_ take it!” Sasuke sits up, never once looking away from Naruto, who mirrors him. “If you don’t like the way things are, become Hokage and change it. That’s what you wanted to do in the first place, isn’t it? Change the shinobi world?” Naruto wouldn’t know what to say even if Sasuke gave him the chance to speak. “This is your dream, and you are giving it up over my dead body.”

“I can make that happen if that’s what you want-”

“Shut up, dobe,” Sasuke snaps, reaching over to shove Naruto’s shoulder, but the gesture is not as mean as Sasuke intends - instead, it almost feels affectionate. His gaze softens, and his hand settles on Naruto’s arm. “Take the job, Naruto. This is what you’ve always wanted, don’t give it up for me.” Naruto can only stare at him, lost for words. He wants to tell him no, that he doesn’t think he can do it without him, but the look that flashes in Sasuke’s eyes tells him that the Uchiha won’t take no for an answer.

“Okay,” Naruto agrees after a moment, forcing a smile to hide how much this is hurting him. His gaze falls to where Sasuke’s hand sits on his arm, and he sees the other man’s fingers flex in a reassuring squeeze right before he feels it. The gesture is simple, and he appreciates the intention, but it doesn’t help. Nothing can help.

He pulls Sasuke into another heated kiss anyway, desperately wishing that it was enough.

\---

When Naruto goes to the Council and tells them that he accepts their conditions, that he will relieve Kakashi of his duties and become the Seventh Hokage, he tells them he’s grateful for the opportunity and pretends he doesn’t notice the disappointed looks the Council members share. He’s the only one aware that he’s only doing this for Sasuke.

When Naruto marries Hinata in a beautiful ceremony beneath the bloom of the sakura trees, promising to love and cherish her for the rest of his life, he is crying. He’s the only one aware that his tears are because she is not the one he wants to be standing next to right now.

When Naruto finally puts on the hat and takes the title, he is smiling. This had been his dream once, the thing he wanted more than anything in the world, but as he waves to the gathered crowds, all he can think about is how Sasuke should be here, right at his side, and it’s devastating. But he keeps smiling and he keeps waving.

He’s the only one aware that his heart is breaking.


End file.
